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Romance in Marriage Begins in the Mind
The most powerful romance doesn't begin with physical action,
but rather with mental contemplation and expectation. It starts
with a simple idea or fantasy that develops into closer intimacy
between two connected partners. Having a satisfying romantic
relationship with your husband or wife takes some thought and
leg work, but it doesn't have be burdensome. In reality,
becoming a romantic person can be fun, exciting and fulfilling
for you and your spouse.
And if you're truly committed to making it work, romance will
become second nature for you. All you need is:
# a willing heart to invest the time,
# access to a computer,
# and maybe a little creativity.
If you're a little skeptical, don't worry, I started with only
one of the three too. Here are three keys that have worked for
my husband and me.
1. Romance of the mind begins when the sun comes up, not
after it goes down. If you want have a successful romance
with your husband or wife, start the day thinking about what
your partner likes or wants most. Maybe it's a specific request,
a deed, or a special gift. Doesn't have to be fancy, but it does
need to be relevant to your relationship. Drop hints throughout
the day to build expectancy. Some suggestions are short and
sweet (or sexy) notes, photos, or voice/text messages. The idea
is to show that you're listening, to give your honey a sense of
desirability and to build up his/her receptiveness for
affection. (Notice I did not say sex per se.)
2. Romance of the mind is ritualistic, not boring or
repetitive, but endearing. I recently read an article about
couples who love having fun with each other.
(http://women.msn.com/a460717.armx?GT1=6920) The one thing that
they all had in common was that they had certain rituals that
they enjoyed doing together. When you have a certain ritual that
you and your partner share, it gives you something to look
forward to throughout the day, week, month or year.
Something my husband and I do to wind down our day is chat over
tea, coffee, or chocolate (in the winter) and smoothies (in the
summer). Sometimes we have music in the background, sometimes
not. Sometimes it leads to more, sometimes not. But this
practice has gotten us through some tough times spiritually,
emotionally, physically, mentally and even professionally.
3. Romance of the mind is well-planned but has a feeling of
spontaneity. One of the movies that I truly enjoyed this
year was Hitch. He had a way of making romance look easy, but he
wasn't perfect. He planned, but he wasn't rigid. And when his
plans fell apart, he could go with the flow. If only we all
could be so talented. I'll let you in on a little secret: the
good news is that we can.
Just plan around what you and your wife or husband like doing.
If you like elaborate evenings for two, go for it. If you love
to travel, there are plenty of romantic places to see. If you
like staying home and playing board games-- there are plenty of
nice (and some naughty) ones out there. Just plan and see where
you'll end up.
When we lived in Brooklyn, my husband and I used to plan walking
dates in Prospect Park (the Central Park of Brooklyn) or near
the water along lower Manhattan. We'd have our meeting time and
place, but no specific agenda in mind. Sometimes we heard
musicians. Sometimes we just enjoyed nature. One time we even
had an unexpected fireworks show. It was spectacular against the
purple glow cast on the water. I was certain that he knew about
it. He denies it to this day.
Hope this post inspires you to make an effort and draws you
closer to your spouse
About the Author
Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com
(Launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on
iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous printed
publications. Currently, she is writing a book on marriage and
relationships(Spring 2006). If you'd like to see more of her
work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com
London MCM Anime Expo 2009 (23rd May & 24th October) Photo Compilation ~ Excel Centre